El Paso

Surprise! We have moved again. We counted with jane the other day, and she has moved 7 times in her 6 years! It’s something we are all getting used to. My girls are already much more resilient and confident than I was even in high school. Moving is SO hard for me, but I also recognize the amazing growth that has come from each big move. In Germany, I learned how to be a strong, independent woman. I learned what it felt like to be buoyed up by the Savior and strengthened by the others of others. I had friends there that shaped me in the way that I mother and in the way that I am a wife and friend. Fort Leonard Wood brought me the best support group I’ve ever had. I learned how to embrace chaos in the name of friendship from watching my good friends do the same. I learned even better how to create a community of friends and neighbors rather than just hoping it will happen without any effort. I gained lifelong friends that feel like family.

I can’t wait to see how this place shapes me and helps me and Jeff to grow together and to help our kids do the same.

We left fort Leonard Wood with sad hearts and started a really long, drawn out road trip to El Paso, Texas. We made the best pit stop to visit some of our best friends and that was so good for my soul! Just an extra boost to send us off into an unknown place.

We then got to El Paso and had to live in a hotel for 10 days. There were some nice things to it- but it was also tricky living with 6 people in one room. I know there are so many women around the world who live that as their reality and they are stronger than me! Our stuff came after being in a hotel for a week and we had exactly one week to unpack and try to get our house together before Jeff already had to leave for his job. So now our house is about 90% complete and I need to just be content with that until he is home for long enough that we can get everything done.

It only gets crazier with every move because our family is bigger each time, and also the amount of stuff we have is greater. I like to think of myself as a minimalist- but every time we move, I am dissuaded of that. One day I was trying to unpack as much as possible and I declared it a movie marathon day. AKA the day of Lyla's dreams. She literally watched 3 movies back to back and I'm not sure she even blinked the whole time.

So far in El Paso we have eaten the BEST mexican food I've ever tasted, went to other yummy restaurants that we've been deprived of for years, had a move-in-to-our-new-house chip party on the kitchen floor. (the smallest things make little kids SO excited!) and eaten snacks and played games using cardboard boxes as tables. Jane also started at a new school and gets to wear a uniform now. Pretty cute! I've also been able to run again and boy was it fun going on my first long run in a place that is 3,000 feet higher than missouri. It really does make such a difference!

Come visit us if only to eat this food!!

Bahama Bucks is my absolute FAVORITE!! 

Chip Party. 

We are loving our new house and the area we live. We have already met a lot of great people. And I can also say that after about 3 weeks my kids are all starting to even out emotionally and mentally. It kinda rocked our worlds to leave our happy little street in Missouri. But they are back to their (mostly) happy selves and we are starting to get into a groove. I signed Jane up for tumbling and piano, and Lyla for gymnastics. I put their responsibility charts up and life is feeling a lot more structured now. But man, I've definitely descended into some deep valleys since being here. When Jeff was gone and Im left with my 4 adorable, yet demanding, children and a house that isn't quite in order; there are moments of complete and utter MADNESS. In a real moment of weakness, I texted my mom and asked if she could come and stay here for a few days. She tried pulling all of the strings but couldn't get work off, so she sent Rachel here instead. Hence why I have the time and the mental clarity to blog right now!

Motherhood is SUCH A rollercoaster. But I'm here for it.

Blissful Chaos

There really is no better way to describe my life right now than blissful chaos. It's the chaos I've always dreamed of having my whole life and the chaos that I will ache to relive years from now. And I love it all. I love my baby with her cute little pig squeals and grunts, my cooper and his LOUD destructiveness, Lyla and her sneaky little smile, and jane coming home from school with wide animated eyes, telling me all the amazing things she is learning at school and about how she played with the new kid at recess because she looked lonely. Here are a few snippets from life lately:

 Lyla has been hard for me lately. She needs SO MUCH human interaction. More than I can sometimes give her. If she had it her way we would play games and watch shows all day together without my attention being averted in any way, shape, or form. So I took the afternoon the other day to try to fill her bucket. We went to eat lunch with jane at school, went to get an ice cream cone, and then went to wal-mart to help her pick out a christmas present for jane. The girls earned 100 peace-maker points (self explanatory) which was what they needed to earn a shopping date with me where they could pick out a present for the other. I think this smile speaks for itself.

 Jeff bought me a treadmill. (and no, that does not make him a fat-shaming anti-feminist like some people might assume) We got it used for only $80, and it's safe to say it will get A LOT of use! I thought I would be the one to use it the most but so far my girls are really loving running on it too! Jane says "I love these sort of things! Fun, but hard!" Hahaha if you know jane, that shouldn't surprise you. But, it does HAVE to be her idea if she is to do something "fun, but hard" if you know what I mean ;) I really hope she loves to run her whole life. Lyla has been taking turns too, and cooper just watches, mesmerized, as he plops his bum down and eats a fruit snack. I've run a few times for the first time in a long time and it felt great.

 I love waking up to this every morning! She usually gets a little whiny around 5am and i'll bring her in the bed to cuddle with me until we are woken up by cooper's loud "MOMMA!!!"

 Little Adeline is still a dream baby. I sound like a broken record because I've said this with every baby. I keep thinking I'll get a really hard baby and I keep getting super lucky. She sleeps like a normal baby (waking every 2-3 hours) and loves to be snuggled but will also allow me to lay her in the swing to nap sometimes. She also SMILED AT ME for the first time this week. I was not expecting it and my heart just about burst. It was the cutest smile ever.

 Jeff (I love that awesome man!!) graduated as the honor graduate in the Captain's Career Course, which honestly makes me kinda sad. It has been so nice to have him home so much the past year.  And this chapter is just not a chapter I am eager to be done with. We have loved living here so much.

 My absolute favorite past-time. This was right before we signed our names about 38173947 times to CLOSE on our very first home! We are moving to El Paso and are super excited to have our own house. We have lots of ideas, we will see how many of them are executed.

 We went to see Frozen 2 and I loved it so much! We went with a big group of our good friends and had lots of little princesses with us ;)

 We had a smashing successful friends giving, and, as customary, the only picture I got on thanksgiving was of the food. I always underestimate how much time it'll take to make the food on thanksgiving. I only made a few batches of rolls, sweet potato casserole, and my first homemade pie (banana cream) We ate so much yummy food that day. It was deeply satisfying. The most un-dry turkey I've ever had and a homemade raspberry cheesecake stole the show for me. My banana cream pie was not the prettiest but it was also one of my favorites. The transporting of our food to the church was a very stressful situation.

My favorite thing that happened in november was sweet baby Brooklyn being born! My brother had his first baby- and it's my kids first cousin on my side. I love her so much and, even though I have steep competition, am so determined to be the favorite aunt. I hope Brooklyn and Adeline are BFFs

 Babies and matching blankets. I was hoping they would kinda look alike since me and brendon look so much a like. NOPE. No resemblance whatsoever. Haha but they are both so cute!

 Holding each other's babies. We made a day trip to bentonville just to be able to meet Brooklyn. 6.5 hours of driving in one day was worth it though! Loved seeing my brother as a dad- and kacee as a mom. Brooklyn is so lucky to have them. She will learn how to have the purest, kindest heart just like her parents.

 Cooper is so much better with Adeline than I thought he would be! He is only ever so soft and gentle, stopping his antics every so often to kiss her little head. Man I love those 2 babies of mine.

And Lyla's obsession with Adeline is showing no signs of waning whatsoever. The only issue is that she thinks she can handle her the way she sees me handling her. She always wants to lift her up and hold her on her chest. We are working on it, and in the mean time I will be watching her like a hawk any time she is holding baby Addie.

Some days at the end of the day, Jeff and I just look at each other incredulously because of how insanely draining it can be to keep up with all the kids. But then we also look at each other with beaming smiles wondering how we got so lucky.

I love these children, and I am humbled every day by how much they love me, too, despite the fact that my very best efforts fall painfully short some days. I wouldn't trade the blissful chaos for ANYTHING.

Mom Life: 4 Kids Edition

Adeline is 18 days old today and I think my official opinion is that newborn-ness lasts for approximately 14 days and then POOF it's gone. So I'm mourning right now. I've had more emotions this time than with any other baby because, HELLO, this is my 4th kid. It's not like I'm at the beginning of my mothering journey anymore. I don't KNOW if I will have another coming along in a few years like I've always known before. Knowing there were more little Andersens coming made it a LITTLE easier to handle my babies growing so quick. 

I've always thought of 4 kids as not a lot of kids. There are 4 kids in my family, and whenever anyone asks me how many siblings I have, I've always said "oh, just 3!" 

Well I was dead wrong. 4 kids is a lot of kids. Especially when you've only been married for 7 years, and graduated from high school for 9. It's been a crazy, lovely whirlwind. I have, again, become extremely emotional when I think about this life Jeff and I have created together. It's so crazy for me to remember back to the time I vividly remember seeing (and "closely observing" aka staring at) Jeff for the first time and how I had NO CLUE that in 7 years I'd be staring at my 4th newborn who makes the same facial expressions when they are sleeping as he does. Or that I'd be trying to contain the LOUDNESS and ENERGY of my son who is his spitting image and who also comes by those qualities very naturally thanks to his father. Speaking of his father, he is Superman in my eyes. He just swoops in and saves the day in every way whenever he is home. I've been so grateful for the way he has been taking care of every member of his family. Like the other night at 2 am he came back in our room after being up with Cooper and I was nursing Addie, he stops and asks: "Kerri when is the last time you drank water?!" I said "I don't know" and he ran and got my huge water bottle and filled it up for me. He is a gem and I love him.

For the first 2 weeks, my mother in law and my mom took turns coming to our home and lightening the load in a big way. I've had a few days on my own now and I can't lie and say this transition has been easy. I remember staring at the wall like a deer in the headlights after I'd been home from the hospital for 3 hours and I was trying to feed the baby while Cooper was constantly trying to poke the baby in the eyes, and the girls were fighting over something ridiculous and making a huge mess doing it. Like, whoa what have we gotten ourselves into? But then there are the moments when they are all gently circled around baby adeline taking turns softly stroking her hair and singing her songs. Its a good mixture of those two types of scenarios. 

I think it's mostly because Cooper alone probably takes up 80% of my energy. He is the busiest child I've ever birthed by FAR. Also the loudest. Also the most mischievous. Also the one who really truly cannot stop himself from whacking people with his beloved plastic golf clubs. But also, dare I say, the cutest?! He makes me laugh so hard and melts my heart into multiple puddles a day. His body is always in motion, fast motion. Usually running around kicking or throwing a ball, pulling things out of drawers and cupboards, chasing and tackling his sisters. Taking small breaks every 20 minutes or so to come give the baby a kiss and a fist bump. (just have to make sure he doesn't try to fist bump her without extremely paranoid supervision.) 

signing the ward "candy" which was what I bribed them with to smile for pictures. obviously.

Jane has been so helpful. I'm feeling grateful to her especially today when Jeff was gone all day. Cooper is SOOOO much happier when she is around and she has the magic touch with him. She is also my "fetcher" of all things while I am nursing. Jeff and I have tried to give her at least some one on one time everyday. She only needs a little bit of REAL quality time to fill her bucket, but she needs it like she needs food. So as long as that happens, we have a happy, helpful oldest sibling in the house. 

Lyla's obsession for Adeline is like nothing else. She gets mad when anyone else is holding her. She desperately wants to be able to cradle and rock and cuddle her like I do, but her body isn't quite as big and cushion-y as mine. So that has been a learning process. We've had to enforce a few rules like "ONLY kisses on the baby's head" and "no moving her head or her body into different positions when you are holding her." It is pretty nice that I can say "finish your chores and then you can hold baby Addie!" and off she will happily bound to do her chores. She also loves to sing to Adeline- real songs and made up songs- and it is adorable. Lyla has her own unique way of dealing with huge change, and utter defiance is her favorite way of doing that. So we've also tried to incorporate as many mommy/daddy dates as possible for her. Lyla cares so much about her baby sister though and her love for her is as intense as it is precious. 

sisters :)

And as for Sweet Adeline, well she is just pure perfection! She really likes to eat which is great because that little squirt was in need of a few rolls on those little chicken legs. I believe Jeff's exact words were "I've literally eaten chicken wings bigger than her legs!" When she came home, she was only 5 pounds 8 ounces but at her 2 week check up she had bounced back up to 6 pounds 10 ounces! Whoever said motherhood is a thankless job forgot about those appointments when the doctor tells you your baby gained a pound and a half in 10 days, all thanks to your countless hours spent nursing. A victory for sure! Addie loves sleeping with her arm snuggled up to her face, she likes being swaddled but also can sleep without being swaddled. Music totally calms her, and as much as she adores her handsy siblings, she definitely prefers her momma and daddy. 

She is just perfect and I am in complete awe that I've had 4 healthy and happy babies. My favorite way to hold her is to have her little face squished right next to mine so I can just inhale her sweet scent and kiss her soft cheeks incessantly. She is also my best smelling baby because she rarely spits up (knock on wood) so she doesn't get that nasty neck cheese. She is already a super curious and super AWAKE baby. Ever since we brought her home, she would have long stretches of being awake. Usually newborns can last about 20 minutes before passing out! This girl has a few solid 3 hour stretches during the day of being wide awake. It is seriously impressive. 

Adeline has reminded me once again that newborns are pure magic. I've enjoyed every single second with her. I love her with my whole heart! I can't wait to see who she becomes. 

She is too good to be true. So grateful she joined our family.

Oh and in case you were wondering what she looks like today...ill give you a hint. She doesn't look like a newborn anymore. I want to cry....

Adeline's Birth Story

It's pretty sad that only a few blog posts ago was Cooper's birth story, and now I present to you: another one. 

I have now had 4 amazing, nearly perfect (in my mind) birth stories. And I think this one might me my very favorite one, despite me being completely caught off guard by nearly every aspect of it!

I had been having contractions since about 36 weeks, but never painful or strong. I knew that this was something my body would do. Around 38 weeks though they were a little more strong and quite consistent so I actually went in to the hospital to get checked (which I'd never done before) and was sent home since I was only dilated to a 3. So, after becoming a #hospitalreject, I didn't want to have any doubts whether or not it was the real deal....

Also it is worthy to note that my body has never gone into full-on labor without a little help from the doctors. With Jane I was induced, and I was dilated to a 6 with Lyla and Cooper, but after that my body would stop progressing unless they broke my water or gave me some pitocin. So I assumed that's how it would go this time too.

I went in for my 39 week check up feeling kinda crampy that morning. I was still fairly confident that I hadn't actually progressed though. And I was right. Still at a 3. I could almost hear an audible Womp, wompppp.  The doctor swept my membranes and warned it could cause some more cramping, and sometimes it would help to start labor, but other times it wouldn't. So I was feeling bummed after the appointment. Luckily, my best friends here had planned a spa night that night and we did at-home pedicures and my friend Rachel painted my toes. It was just what I needed to keep myself from wallowing. I was starting to feel even more crampy that night as we were chatting and painting nails, but I was sure they were the cramps the doctor had warned me about. I had never experienced these type of cramps before either so I wasn't really sure what to think. So I came home and went to bed. I had a little bit of a hard time falling asleep because of the cramps but eventually fell asleep. 

I woke up at 6:30 to even stronger cramps, and I realized now they were contractions. (You'd think I'm a total rookie!) I still remember my neighbor telling me how she had cramps and contractions after she got her membranes stripped so I figured they could just be that. I timed them for like 20 minutes and mentioned to jeff I was having pretty strong contractions. Stronger contractions that I'd ever had at home and not in a hospital. I was trying to decide if I should take them seriously or not...but by 7 am they got intense quickly and I had no doubts anymore. Instead of thinking "should I go in?" my thoughts shifted to "holy cow I might not make it in time, we have to GO!" From past experience I know that when the strong contractions start, my babies come FAST. I told jeff to get ready, texted my friends, and woke up my kids. I'll never forget waking up jane and lyla and telling them to get dressed and go to their friend's house because I was going to the hospital-- Lyla started happy crying and was clapping and jumping up and down! It was sweet but in the moment I was all aboard the crazy train so I didn't quite appreciate it. I ran out to the car with my hospital bag- no time to do my hair or make up or even try to look presentable! At least my toes were painted ;) I was waiting by the car for jeff to come out and I'll always remember seeing two of my best friends-- one of them running up the street (16 weeks pregnant) and the other running up the hill from behind our house. Both of them have 5 kids but they dropped everything to come to my rescue and to grab my kids. I was so grateful, even with the pain! 

Luckily, the hospital was only a 5 minutes drive. I was crying on the way to the hospital because I was so caught off guard! I'd never felt so NOT in control with any of my labors and it was scary. But I was also so happy that my baby was coming! OH, and did I mention it was halloween?? 

We got to the hospital around 7:20 and I told them immediately I wanted an epidural because I knew I needed to say it quick since I knew I'd progress so fast. The contractions were getting more painful each time! The nurse told me I could get one, but they needed to get my blood first and send it to the lab before the anesthesiologist could come give it to me. She said it would take 45 minutes. My only thought was "I'll probably have the baby by then!" 

The took me into another room and got me all poked with needles. I've always said the IV was my least favorite part of giving birth, but this was the first time I had gotten one while truly in the painful part of labor and I barely even noticed it happening! So I stand corrected: labor pain is worse than getting an IV. 

At about 8:45 the anesthesiologist finally came in and said he could give me the epidural. I remember thinking "Ok I'll only have to feel one more contraction!" I was so relieved, because I could tell the baby was really trying to come out. I could feel my bag of water bursting out and that the baby was super close to coming. I remember feeling like I was holding it in, like I would if I had to hold back pee! I knew if I pushed at all, I wouldn't get any epidural relief. 

He came in and started getting ready to poke me, and I felt 4 more contractions while he was doing that! Each one was so brutal because 1. I thought i wouldn't feel another one. 2. I was transitioning- AKA the most painful part of labor, and 3. I had to hold completely still and stay sitting up! I do have to say one thing about this labor- as painful as it was, it was probably the least intense pain of all my births because I was laboring without any pitocin and without having my water broken. I've felt one natural childbirth with pitocin, one natural with my water being broken early on, and this one without any intervention- and it was definitely the least intense. The contractions didn't last as long or come as often, and they were just a tiny bit less painful. I was able to stay extremely calm and in control. BOO YA.

He got the epidural in, but it was almost a joke because my little baby was born about 5 minutes after that. Right after he got it in, I laid back and started pushing! It only took pushing through 3 contractions until she was out. I am grateful I had the epidural for this part though, even though I still had to feel what I think is the most painful part of labor (transition). I was able to relax my body and really be in the moment and feel the joyous anticipation of my baby coming! I was so happy and grateful in those moments right before she was born, and even more so when she was in my arms! I noticed right away that she was tiny, WAY smaller than cooper! I was so curious to see if she would be small like my girls or huge like my boy. She followed suit with her sisters and weighed in at a whopping 6 pounds, 2 ounces. My tiny little nugget.

They let me hold her for at least an hour before they took her to weigh her and poke her and prod her. It was heavenly. She nursed and was absolutely wide awake looking at everything. When Jeff and I were both looking at her, her little eyes were darting back and forth between our two faces. She has Jane's eyes and Lyla's lips. And then she made a pouty face that was identical to Cooper's pouty face. She is definitely an Andersen baby! 

The stay in the hospital was great. Especially since I could order an enormous cheeseburger for breakfast AND lunch and eat the HECK out of them. With no heartburn afterwards. Hallelujah! My favorite moments were when the other 3 kids came to see their little baby sister for the first time. I was teary on and off that whole visit. Seeing cooper kiss his little sister, watching Lyla singing "I am A Child of God", and then watching my biggest baby hold my littlest baby. Just so much JOY! 

That joy I felt was incorporated into this little baby's name. We had SUCH a hard time choosing a name. I had never in my whole pregnancy decided on a name I loved. I went back and forth a bunch of times and was driving myself a little bit CRAZY.

Jeff was getting so frustrated that I wasn't picking a name so he took it upon himself to pick her name and just write it down because he was sick of not having an answer when people asked "whats the baby's name?". We decided on Leah, but I was hesitant because it sounds so much like Lyla. I called her Leah a few times and then had a mini freak out because THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT HER NAME. I texted Jeff and said "Her name is Adeline, NOT leah!! And I am completely set on that." We had to do a few name un-announcements but I took a big deep sigh of relief when I finally committed to Adeline Joy Andersen. Our little Addie Joy really has brought us SO much joy! I can't wait to see who she becomes and how she will spread her joy in this world. 

FOUR CHILDREN.....WHAT.