I know I haven't blogged in years, but I've blogged about the birth of all my other children and I feel like I definitely want to have this one written down as well. My 5th and final birthing experience. I've kind of been in awe all week that there are 5 kids living in my house that are mine.
A little back story; at 20 weeks I got my in depth ultrasound where the doctors measured my baby and discovered that- SHOCKER- she was very tiny. They measured her to be in the 2nd percentile. So immediately my doctor referred me to a fetal medicine specialist. This tiny little baby was monitored so closely for the rest of the pregnancy; and she never managed to get higher than the 2nd percentile. So my doctor, along with a few other doctors, highly encouraged me to get induced at 37 weeks. This was very scary to me because I've never been induced that early. (I was induced with jane, but it was 39.5 weeks) I was initially really not excited about that. I had been gearing myself up for another fast + furious birth at around 39 weeks like my past 3 births have been. My body has always recovered very well and all of my birthing experiences have been without any problems. I've always been so grateful for that, and so I was worried being induced so early would ruin that streak of amazing birthing experiences.
But 37 weeks it was; and I went into the hospital on March 21st. Unfortunately they didn't let me come until around 3:30pm. I remember packing my hospital bag, the one I had mentally packed for months but felt silly actually packing until it was really go time, and then driving to the hospital with my mom while jeff picked up the kids from school and dropped them off at a friend's house. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that my baby was about to be born. Can anyone ever wrap their mind around that? I've done this many times and it is still SO incredibly surreal every time.
We got to the hospital where I took my last ever pregnant picture that I will ever take. Got checked in fairly quickly, and the nurse wasted no time shoving an IV into my vein, ever so aggressively, and swiftly after muttering the words "ah it blew." Not the words you want to hear after your vein was just stabbed. So then she switched to the other side where I got to get stabbed again. I've said it before and I'll say it again, IV's are my least favorite part of the entire experience. I stick to that sentiment.
I decided for being induced this time, I would try pitocin as a last resort. I have given birth naturally with pitocin and without, and I can definitely say that with pitocin is much more painful and intense. So I asked if we could start by trying a cervical balloon as well as cytotec- it's a dissolvable pill you put into your mouth that is supposed to start labor. It took a good while for them to get either thing going; and once they did it was about 5. By then, Jeff and my friend Elizabeth who is also a doula had arrived. I felt super supported during this labor and I'm so grateful.
My body wasted no time and within a few minutes I was having contractions. They were abrupt and consistent and growing in intensity. For the first time in my life I tried this thing called: not sitting in a hospital bed on my back for the entirety of my labor. Game-Changer-- Thanks to my friend Elizabeth who encouraged me to sit on a birthing ball, and try standing in different positions while having contractions. It was amazing to discover that the pain can be lessened depending on the position you are in, and the counter pressure being applied. Well these contractions, along with my cervix, were just delighted to stay where they were. I had contractions every 2 minutes for about 4 hours. I bounced a lot on a ball, listened to Kina Grannis, walked many laps around the hospital floor, and spent a lot of time saying "wow, this is so slow!" which Im sure was annoying to everyone else in the room. My body just has never been a slow and steady labor device so it was very strange. I was also starting to get really exhausted and sleepy. I wanted to take a nap but that isn't going to happen while in active labor. My mom and Elizabeth were starting to warm me up to the idea of getting an epidural- just so I can get a good rest before it got really intense. I was pretty determined to do it naturally so I really resisted and was flip flopping like a caught fish. But in the end I decided: yes to sleep. I told the nurse and she started pumping me with fluids to prepare me for the epidural.
Elizabeth, after diligently helping me through all my contractions, also left around 11 pm after they checked me and said I was only at a 4. And since it was going so slow, I told her to go get some sleep. Well, right as she left the hospital and the fluids entered my veins, my body had decided to kick it up a notch. Or maybe 4 or 5 notches. 30 minutes later the anesthesiologist came in, and at that point I had progressed to a 6, almost 7. She asked me if I still wanted one, and since I knew at that point that sleep would not be a thing I was getting, I sent her on her way. I figured it would only be like 20 more minutes since once I get to a 7 usually- my transition goes very quickly. So as all hope of pain relief literally walked out the door, I geared myself up to get this sweet baby here. There were people filing into the room preparing the warming bed for the baby and doing all the other things to prepare for a baby being born. The hustle and bustle of baby preparation was actually so motivating and exciting for me. She really was almost here! She would be on my chest- and soon! And even though the contractions at this point were sending me to a whole new dimension, the excitement was my prevailing feeling.
Cytotec, by the way, felt exactly like a pitocin labor. My contractions were SO long, and SO ridiculously close together. I really felt like I didn't even get any breaks towards the end. With every contraction, I envisioned my baby moving down, and closer to being in my arms. I also remember envisioning how excited addie's little face would be meeting her baby sister and saying "cutie cutie baby!" as she giggles with delight. I also remembering saying "i hate ed sheeran so much, turn that song off." The song Shivers was on during a particularly gnarly contraction and the words were "oh, i love it when you do it like that" -- and it felt like the most unfit song for labor I could ever imagine.
The nurse checked me around every 15 minutes once the contractions intensified. And while I thought it would only take me 15 minutes to go from a 7 to a 10, cytotec decided to give me the gift of a prolonged transition. I know I really can't complain because some women have labors that last SO. MUCH. LONGER. Slow clap for you all! It was probably an hour and half after I sent the anesthesiologist away that I was finally at a 10 and the doctor looked at me and said "whenever you are ready." in the most calm way possible. I remember him looking at me like he had complete faith in me- that this was MY birth and not his. His calming presence and trusting gaze was really empowering. With my mom and Jeff both by my side, I started pushing and I felt such a rush of joy when I could finally do that! It was really happening, and pushing pain is so much more preferable than contraction pain. I liked to use the word intensity instead of pain, and if you use it/say it enough, you can start to trick your brain into thinking it's not really pain. It's your body producing a miracle!
This tiny little angel made pushing a very quick job. I think I pushed through 3 contractions, and out she came. She waited for a little longer than I would've liked to breathe, and then when she did they whisked her away to the warming table. They had to be a little extra cautious since she was early and so small. I remember after they took her away the doctor asked me how much I think she weighed. My guess was 5 lbs 2 oz, and a few minutes later they announced she was 5 lbs. 3 oz! So close. After maybe 10 minutes, they finally brought her to me and we got to have our *moment*. The one I can clearly remember with all 5 of my babies births; the moment that makes every pain and discomfort of pregnancy and childbirth pale in comparison to the joy and bliss. It was 2 am but I felt more alive and grateful and full of joy than I ever have. Little Avery was in my arms and all was right in the universe.
I appreciate the depth of research and thought evident in your article.
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