Lyla: A Birth Story

Let me preface this by explaining the preparation for this birth. It may have been more traumatic than the birth itself. I got to Germany expecting there to be an American hospital with American doctors. But then I found out there is not a hospital on base and I would be delivering at a hospital where people don’t speak the same language as me. In a place that is quite notorious for pretty much sucking at giving epidurals. I heard a lot of epidurals-gone-wrong stories. One too many. SO, even though I was fully planning on getting an epidural with this baby, my plans began to change. I started to get into full on natural birth preparation mode. Slash full on panic mode. I spent a lot of time asking advice from experienced women- my mom, my mother in law, and my sisters in law mostly. The more people I talked to, the more confident I became that my body really IS made to do this! Although there was still a hefty amount of fear mixed in with that building confidence.

Ok. Onward. I started having contractions on the weekend. Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Each day I seemed to be having more. I felt like they were painful, but figured they were just Braxton hicks because I could still function totally normally. I texted my mom that I would be suuuuper annoyed if these contractions were completely unproductive!  I felt such an excitement to meet my baby that I didn’t think I should let these small contractions get my hopes up. I remember on monday night, I asked Jeff to start timing them. I felt ridiculous even asking, although they were 5 minutes apart! I still shrugged them off as braxton hicks. 

Fast forward to the next morning. We all got ready in a hurry (read: messy bun and no make up for me, no "cute" hospital pics for !) and headed to the hospital for my last doctor’s appointment. I was one day shy of being 39 weeks, and the previous week I was 2 cm. dilated. I was just hoping I’d be 3 cm or have some sort of sign that my body really was doing some productive things to get this baby here. My doctor checked me, and his eyes widened. He was speaking german to the midwife who was there and I was like “oh hey…wanna tell me why you are looking like a cartoon character with that ridiculous expression?” He made a big circle with his hands and said “6 centimeters. You are staying here.” I started laughing incredulously and repeated the phrase “are you serious?!” like 10 times.

I hopped right off that chair and started to put my pants back on like a frenzied maniac. I kept missing the leg hole…the midwife had to grab my arm and say “slowww down!” I took a deep breath and pulled up my pants like the real adult that I am. Ran out into the waiting room to jeff and said “I’m having a baby today!....Jane, baby sister is coming TODAY!”

“I wanna hold her.”

“I wanna hold her!”

Repeat phrase 10x by the big sister-to-be : )

It made me a little sad when jeff had to leave with her. She really wanted to stay and meet “baby sistuh”.

I kinda just waited around all nonchalantly. As if I wasn’t in labor and ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!!! After about an hour, they got me into a room and started me on a very low dose of Pitocin. I had the most overwhelming flood of emotions. I was giddy that I was going to be holding my sweet baby. I was giddy that I was no longer going to be pregnant. I was giddy that Jane finally got to meet her sister. I was giddy that I was already 6/10ths of the way there. I was TERRIFIED at what was to come. I knew; and my spirit knew, that I was about to do something really really hard. But really really rewarding.

The trusty contractions started up, and soon after, I put on my enya playlist. I was under some delusion that it would keep me calm. It kinda did, But only for the first 40 minutes of painful, but bearable contractions. They hurt, but they didn’t make me want to scream and swear. I was chatting Jeff’s ear off trying to keep distracted. I also remember envisioning the waves of an ocean come in and out each time my uterus contracted, and it helped. The calm music, the envisioning, the breathing, all of that can only help you up to a certain point. And that point- where all logic, reason, and sanity is lost? They call it: transition.

Those bad boys started. The ones that every woman who has given birth naturally warns you about. Lucky for me, it didn't last too long. I had about 10 excruciatingly painful contractions. 2 of them I felt like I needed to push with every fiber of my being; and when my nurse said I wasn’t allowed to, I wanted to squeeze her head off.

Jeff was trying his darndest to make things better for me. But like I said before, I was past the point of no return.

“Do you want to hold my hand?” - Jeff

“I DON’T CARE!”

“Do you want a pillow behind your back?” - Jeff

“I DON’T CARE!!!”

“Do you want to lay on your side?” - Jeff

“I DON’T CARE!!!!!”

Etc. etc.

I mostly didn’t care about anything but the pain stopping.

After my water finally broke (at like 9.5 centimeters), I was screaming, loudly. And making some seriously crazy faces that apparently made jeff have to muffle laughter. (He tried to re-enact said faces afterwards and he had me giggling. I’m glad he didn’t laugh though because it would NOT have been ok at the time.) I also started shaking and sweating a lot. At one point, in the VERY SHORT time in between contractions, I remember putting my hands to my mouth and saying “Why are my teeth vibrating?” It was strange. 

FINALLY though, I was allowed to push. This was always the part that scared me the most about childbirth. I've heard it described as the ring of fire and I've never been anxious to willingly sign up for such a sensation. But honestly, the sting of the pushing was relieving the contractions and it almost hurt in a good way. I wasn't even crying or screaming because I knew my baby was RIGHT. THERE and it made it so much easier to deal with the pain. It was empowering. I pushed through three contractions. THREE. And boom, it was over. The pain was over, and was replaced with the most heavenly JOY and relief! I had a baby and I felt it all. I felt like I was an active participant of bringing her here, as opposed to my first birth where I felt more like an active observer. I was so darn proud of myself. I did something I had convinced myself that I wasn't strong enough or brave enough to do. I was elated that they gave my baby right to me and let me hold her for a good 20 minutes before they weighed her or anything. (6 pounds 2 ounces. 18.5 inches long. Perfect in every way.) She was really there, in my arms. I was not expecting her to come early, but it was the best surprise of my life! 

Lyla Kimberly Andersen. I held her and cried. She laid on my skin and calmed down. She was kinda squirmy and fussy after a few minutes though, but then jeff put his hand on her head and her body just relaxed. She loved her mommy. She loved her daddy. And holy cow did we love her! Love is such a pathetic, insufficient word when you are trying to describe the feelings you have for your brand new baby.

Back to reality for a quick second when the doctor said he needed to stitch me up. UGH. But I'm supposed to be done... Well, he checked me and declared that I would not need ANY stitches! I was BEYOND thrilled. All the prayers that were given on my behalf certainly were working their magic in that delivery room.

She nursed a bit, and slept on my chest for about 2 hours. We had some quality staring sessions too where I got to look into her fresh-from-heaven little eyes. I found myself fighting the familiar battle of sleep vs. staring at my sleeping baby. I was so exhausted and wanted to sleep, but I guess the desire to stare at her won out because I never did get any snoozing in. (...still haven't)

I didn't get very many pictures. With Jane, I had my sister take pictures throughout the whole process. This time, Jeff was the only one there besides the doctor and nurse; and he was busy having his hand being squeezed off by yours truly. And afterwards, both of my hands were too occupied to take very many pictures.

I’m writing this about 4 hours after she was born. I want it to be fresh. Plus, they took her away from me so I have no motherly duties at this moment. I hate that. I hope they bring her back soon. 

Next, I will write about the hospital stay. I was going to do it all in one post, but as I'm trying to sort out my thoughts, I'm realizing I have a whole lot to say. Aaaand Jane just went down for a nap, which means I have two hours to try to get Lyla sleep and take a nap myself. ahhh :) That just sounds a lot better than blogging right now. My apologies.

33 weeks

Here is the TRUE breakdown of pregnancy: 1st quarter: weeks 1-20; 2nd quarter 20-30 weeks; 3rd quarter 30-36 weeks; 4th quarter 37-40(+-) weeks.

Oh, it's so true. I've learned from experience that celebrating being "HALFWAY THROUGH ALREADY?!" is a bit futile. And 30 weeks? That sounds so far along! But guess what. You are already huge and you still have TEN weeks to go. I'm 33 weeks. Still in the 3rd quarter, and focusing more on our upcoming move to another continent rather than the arrival of our sweet little babe. Keeping my impatience with pregnancy at bay ;)

So fitting, that cute little head popping up over the counter. Little do you know she is actually whining at me saying "Stop it mommaaaa.....Knock it offfffff." How, may I ask, do you explain to an almost 2 year old that you are allowed to boss her around, but she is not allowed to boss you around. HA! what a joke.

This pregnancy has just been SO much better than the last. If you must know, I contribute it to mainly two things: getting foot zoned regularly (once a month), and eating healthier with very limited sugar. That ridiculous sugar addiction I used to have is now a thing of the past; I have learned some amazing things about my body's reaction to sugar this pregnancy that will continue to serve me for the rest of my life.

That being said, I have not been completely void of unfavorable symptoms. Most notably as of late would be my old friend, heart burn. I look forward so much to being able to chug as much water as I want, whenever I want. I've found that a glass of milk and a few almonds before bed help keep the raging monster a little less raging. Funny because I think the last time I enjoyed a plain glass of milk was when I was about 12 months old.

Anyways, a few more things to note. My baby is always rolling and my stomach is always lopsided in some way.

I've started making really long lists  of activities for Jane to do while I nurse and am not able to cater to her little high maintenance needs every second, like I do now :) That will be an adjustment, but I can't help but think that having two kids will actually be easier for me mentally. I can't explain it, but like, I really think it'll be the case for me. I'll let you know in a couple months if that prediction was  just a ridiculous joke.

I've been better at keeping active. As active as I can be with no gym access and being huge and pregnant. I go on walks a lot, and climb up stairs repeatedly. Often I feel like my baby is going to fall straight out of me as I'm walking, but I keep on going anyways, and so far so good.

Here is jane, with her trail mix, on our walk, pointing to a boat. (lots of commas) I'm going to do another plug for homemade trail mix.  (Today's special: almond granola, sunflower seeds, cashews, raisins, craisins, and the real star, chocolate chips!) It's like treasure hunting, in snack form. It will forever be my go-to snack to distract little ones for a long period of time.

Oh and to end this on an extremely happy note! 4 days before we are supposed to fly to Germany, our passports came! I cannot express in words the frustrations that have been woven into our lives for the past month regarding this move and whether or not it would happen, and whether or not we would actually be together. It's insane. Thanks to a lot of prayers, it all worked out and for that, we took a passport selfie where jane is holding up her passport and shouting "HOORAY!" A greatly warranted hooray.

26 Weeks

The difference between a first pregnancy and a second pregnancy? This time around, I have no earthly idea which fruit my baby is the size of.

The first time around, I excessively checked on babycenter what my baby was doing that week. This time, not so much. Im hoping by not doing this, the pregnancy will go by faster. I'm the most impatient pregnant woman there ever was.

I am just so anxious to snuggle my little babe and pat her little bum sticking out as she lays on my chest. Oh boy am I baby hungry! Every night after I put Jane down I think to myself "I cant wait until this time is solely baby snuggle time!" I feel so ready to have another baby. That's not to say I think it will be a walk in the park, i'm aware that it could be quite hard and overwhelming at times, but I am just so looking forward to having two sweet little girls. I've learned that although this whole parenting gig is laced with some exhaustingly difficult moments, the good moments totally win.

We have a name pretty much picked out. But I might change my mind, and if I do, my husband might just flip his lid. So probably we will just use the name we have picked out and my husband can keep his lid securely fastened.

So pregnancy. I've gained the same amount of weight at this point as I did with jane. But my baby this time is not measuring quite as small, which is nice! My stomach is also way bigger than last time.

Pregnant belly mirror selfies I guess are kind of my thing this pregnancy. I don't know if it really works for me, but I love being able to document the bump. Scoff if you'd like.

Buying: i've only bought a few things for this baby because, hand-me-downs. And because, I have a husband who has a rational and VERY conservative view on the amount of clothes an infant should have. Sometimes I totally agree with him and think seriously, they grow out of these clothes in like a month and 90% of the time stain them with poop anyways, whats the point? But then the next moment I'm standing right in front of a freaking cute romper and I'm like...oh hi, are you excited to be worn by my child in a few months?

Nesting: hahahahaha. LADIES! Have you ever tried being in nesting mode and NOT HAVING A NEST?! It's great fun. *sarcastic eye roll emoji* (if those even exist, which they should because they have random things like two girls in bunny suits dancing, so they should definitely have an eye roll emoji.)
I think about the only thing I can do at the moment is make adorable felt headbands. So naturally...

(these were the first few I made, they got better with practice....don't look too close.)


And now to go console my screaming child who is almost 2 YEARS OLD and sleeps worst than she did when she was 2 months old.

Half way there!

So Uhm, this pregnancy is going by a lot faster than my first. I'm halfway through and have hardly documented a darn thing. Im so bad at blogging lately. Im like, yuck yuck yuck don't wanna blog and then suddenly one day- boom- the stars align and I feel like I could easily pump out 3 posts in a day.

So yeah. This pregnancy has been crazy. Insurance has been a complete nightmare and I've had to cancel many doctor's appointments. It creates anxiety in me like nothing else! Hello?! Isn't awesome insurance just about the only perk of being in the army? (ok besides having a hot, hard working, army guy as a husband) Well that's just a perk that I have yet to experience, and am at a point where I don't believe if I ever will experience that little perk called insurance.

- Weight gain is pretty slow at this point, which is fine with me. I've eaten much healthier this pregnancy. Of course, my aunt and uncle I'm living with always have crackers and chips in their house. Something I never have in my house because, pig woman to the rescue! I have still been going strong with the no sugar. I think I've caved 3 times, but only when it involved a hot out of the oven chocolate chip cookie. That's the one thing that is always worth it to me.

- I've realized that no matter how long I go without sugar, I will always and forever crave homemade chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and sour gummy worms.
- On the flip side of health, I've been doing horrible at exercising. I could sit here and give you excuses or I could just say, whoops! sucks to suck.

- Nesting? I wish. Who the heck knows where we will even be living when I have this baby. Probably Germany. Maybe the army will change their mind. But if we are in Germany, we still won't have any of our stuff when the baby is born because it takes like 3 years for them to ship us our stuff, by BOAT. (3 yrs = 60 days)

- My little babe loves to be curled up as LOW as humanly possible. So even though my belly doesn't really fill them out yet, I have had to start wearing maternity jeans. Also, on that same note, my bladder has been suffering from the 'how low can you go?' situation. I've had to make up games for jane to do while "mommy goes potty" yet again. If she could speak in full sentences, she would always be asking "mom, didn't you do this like 10 minutes ago?" and I would always reply with a "yes dear, I sure did." #bladdersaretrampolines #apparently

- Jane loves my "baby" that she points out everytime she catches a glimpse of my tummy. She kisses my tummy and says "ohhh! baby sister!" (baby sis-duhhh) It is stinking adorable.

- This little baby also loves music! Every time I'm playing piano or listening to music she starts having a little dance party.

- I've SO enjoyed this pregnancy. Despite the frustrations with insurance, I'd say it's just been wonderful. Yes I had sickness, but only the first trimester- and it was manageable. And the second trimester has been a dream! I'm already quite fond of this little nugget. I have no problem imagining loving her as much as I love Jane. Which is a dang LOT.

Little Things

There are so many little things that happen everyday that I never want to forget. Of course, I don't write down everything because then I would always be writing. People always ask me, being a stay at home mom, "what do you do all day?" Well, I think those of you who are stay at home moms already have a pretty good idea. But really my days are just packed full of little moments like these. I personally wouldn't trade that for any fancy job.

^^ newest favorite activity, throwing rocks. And following through! Ha

- This morning I said "Jane, I love you!" and she replied by saying "Soooo much!"

- Yesterday we were outside enjoying every last drop of sunshine that this kind and generous february has to offer, and we were playing basketball. Mostly I would shoot and jane would get my rebounds and "shoot it" herself. I don't think she ever managed to lunge that ball higher than about 3 inches, but she was pretty proud of herself, and I personally have never had such a cute rebounder :)

- Everytime I change her diaper she manages to swipe a wipe from the container and then will proceed to walk around using it as a tissue and "blowing her nose', quite profusely. Blowing her nose, read: sniffing heavily.

- Her favorite snack is crushed ice. If I had a dollar for overtime she asked "IEEEEE?" everyday, then I'd be rich enough to buy her her very own ice machine.

- She is terrified of cellos, guitars, big dogs, and mascots. Turns out Texas Roadhouse has an armadillo mascot now. So random. That thing is big and she was frightened the moment she saw it. But then the armadillo came over and violated her with a friendly wave. All heck broke loose, and every time she got a glance of him afterwards, all heck broke loose again. I've never seen such fear!

- She has the craziest sugar tooth. She asks for candy multiple times a day. And she is often persistent. I'll be holding her and she will say "dandy? dandy? dandy?" and if I don't respond immediately she will tilt her head so that her face is right in front of my eyes and say loud and clear "DANDY?!" It cracks me up, and I usually say no (it makes her act super crabby). But sometimes I look at her and say "Sure Janie, sometimes a little girl just needs some candy!" When I give it to her, she shivers with unadulterated joy and does this deep, mischievous laugh.
The face she makes is similar to her "Sun in the Eyes" look, seen here.

- Jane knows 5 letters! (A, B, M, O, and J) She really loves learning letters, and whenever she sees one she recognizes, she gets so excited to point it out. She could also sit on my lap and watch me draw letters for a long time; sometimes the same one over and over and over.  :) But she is stubborn with colors. Grass is blue, the sky is blue, her pink nail polish is blue, and the red car across the street is blue. According to her...

- Right now as a type, I'm watching Jane entertain herself with a night light (it's actually a miracle Im blogging now, 98% of the time I blog when she is sleeping) and at the same time feeling little flutters in my tummy. The circle of life, man. It's cool.

Gender Reveal!

Baby number 2! Is it a boy or a girl? I never even had time to do one of those surveys where people guess because the fact that i found out when I did was a complete surprise. A very welcomed surprise though. And this time around, I didn't have enough friends around me to justify having another gender reveal party.

So real quick, make a little guess in your head before scrolling down. (ha!) Here is a picture, maybe that'll help you to make a more informed decision.

I really have enjoyed having this little human inside of me. This baby has been a lot more kinder to me than, ehem, little miss jane. I think one of the first things I said to her when she was born was: "do you have any idea how many times you made me throw up?!" Ha :) I've obviously forgiven her. But this newest baby has gifted me with the second trimester that people always say you are going to have. "energy! no sickness! wonderment and joy!" prophecy finally fulfilled. Thank you little one. Ok, lets get on with it. Im totally dragging this on.

I get into the doctors office and after an hour and a half wait I FINALLY get to see my baby on that little screen. And then, as if it wasn't a life altering statement, the doctor casually blurts out "we can probably find out the gender today if you want!" Uhm, I definitely wanted! So what's it gonna be? What is the next addition to our little game of life? ( laying on the cheese real thick there!)

I gave this pinked out box to my mom and sister to tell them the news. :) 

Oh poor jeffrey. He is so incredibly outnumbered now ;) And despite his quite vocalized desire to have a son, I think he will learn to love it. (learn being the operative word, because as of right now I wouldn't put excited at the top of his adjective list.)

As for me, what mother doesn't want two little girls right next to each other? Dripping with happiness over here. :)

If any of you have any name ideas, I always love to hear them! We have a few we love, but are open to suggestions. And any well wishes or advice on raising two girls will also be appreciated :)