for my girls

This world is scary. There is just no denying it. There are days when I'm terrified of what it is becoming. Most days I try to stay on the bright side, but then another devastating newsflash sweeps the nation.  Another act of violence, of hatred. I admit my enormous ignorance, but I do understand that there are people in other places that experience hatred and violence on a normal, every day basis. How can I protect my sweet, innocent girls from the corruption and confusion of this world?

Well, first of all, I can teach them, and show them, and tell them the stories of all of our travels and experiences. We've met people from all over the world. We've sat down with refugees as they related their devastating tale. I've seen the good. I've seen the hand of God. Everywhere. We all have.

So, how can I shield them from all that bad stuff? I guess the better question, and the more realistic one, is this: how can I send my girls out into this world, equipped with the armor they need to protect themselves from the evil, and to even dispel it with light and goodness?

I canNOT protect them from everything. And even if I could, they really wouldn't be living. What I CAN do is try my very hardest to create a home where the love they feel from their parents, and most importantly, their Savior, is stronger than any evil.

I can try to live with a smile on my face, a smile that is derived from my true source of joy. And teach them that my JOY comes from my knowledge that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. He will give us the strength we need to fight this battle. He will be on our side until the very end, and His love and guidance will remind us that good will always trump evil. That's not to say He will stop every trial and affliction from happening. Because he gave us the gift of agency, and honors that gift. He won't take away another person's ability to act out on deeply painful feelings. But he can comfort and engulf us in His love when we are so sadly affected by the choices of others.

Please remember that, dear girls, and you will be able to overcome any sorrow, frustration, depression, or anger that will ever threaten your happiness. Remember, and smile.

one week of Lyla

Lyla has been in my arms for a week straight as of today ;) 

And tomorrow is her due date. I always hoped that I would get lucky enough to have my baby early (but not TOO early) and then on my actual due date say: "happy due date!" and well, wish granted! I got 8 extra days with this girl and I am not mad about it.

Another thing I'm not mad about is that she is like this freak of nature angel baby. She has cried like...3 times. And never longer than a few minutes. She always, always will stop crying the moment I pick her up. It makes me feel kinda cool, ya know? I absolutely treasure my role as her mother. I like staring at her little puckered lips at 4 am and I love the satisfaction I get when I'm patting her back and she burps real loud. Must feel good, huh?I love rubbing baby lotion all over her pink little body and enhaling that baby smell all day long. I love that I feel the spirit when I look into her eyes and having a little piece of heaven in my home. I love being able to feed her and give her exactly what her little body needs to grow. Even though I have to grit my teeth to keep from screaming for the first 10 seconds of every feeding. PAIN. It is so worth the pain. And even worth the engorgement. Barely... ;)

I love watching my TWO girls interact. Jane just looks at Lyla and starts giggling out of pure delight! When I need to change Lyla, Jane eagerly hops up to retrieve a diaper. Every time Lyla is upset, Jane gets a worried look on her face. She will then put her face about 2 inches away from Lyla's and, in the most sincerely concerned little voice, says "Ohhhh it's oh-tayyyyy!" She takes her role as a big sister very seriously.

I am so glad they are MINE! All mine, for forever! Jeff still seriously gets tripped up every time I say "The girls" or "the kids". He shakes his head and does one of those "WHAT IS MY LIFE?!?!" chuckles. 

I hope they are best friends one day.

We invested in a nice baby carrier, and jeff claims it feels the exact same as the carrier we got at target for $30. (he also rolls his eyes when he says this) BUT I am here to tell you that it might actually be the best purchase of my life! That thing is so dang comfortable; for me and for little Lyla. Game Changer! 

This past week has been the best week of my life. It has been hard too, but in a very fulfilling way. It is up to Jeff and I to give these little humans everything they need. It's overwhelming. And awesome. The amount of children I have has doubled, but so has the amount of joy I experience daily. Maybe even tripled. Or quadrupled? I don't know, but there is a lot of happiness over here. 

and i'll end this post with jane's first selfie. in all of its glory and irrelevance.