Apartment Woes

Ok. I put my dishes in an actual dishwasher yesterday.
A dishwasher that actually is in my apartment.
and then, an hour later without any effort:
MY DISHES WERE SPARKLING.
i may have teared up a bit out of pure joy.
Oh and then I had laundry to do.
So I walked 10 steps and put my clothes in the washer.
A washer that is ALSO in my apartment.
No more treks across wymount carrying 2 weeks worth of laundry for me!
(wymount is the name of my old apartment complex)
So that was also heaven.

The point is, I love our new apartment.
There is plenty of room for jane to crawl around and explore.
and when i want to do pilates,
there is actually enough room for me to lay my yoga mat down on the ground-
without it running into a wall or couch.
also it has a fireplace.
and i feel like royalty.

I do miss wymount though. the people, mostly.
these apartments I'm living in now beat wymount apartments.
but the people at wymount and the memories made there are actually unbeatable.
i will never forget that tiny little apartment- the one i brought jane home in.
and where she made her first little friends.

oh wymount, with it's cinder-block walls and velcro confetti carpet.
and- now it's being torn down- in all of its glory.
along with so many wonderful memories.
so this is my sappy tribute to an apartment complex, in poetic form:

(picture this on a tombstone)

RIP.

here lies the remnants of quad 7

former home of the best people

who had the cutest babies

and basically everything was perfect

until BYU tore it down and ruined everything.

long live quad 7!

(this'll be awkward it nobody from quad 7 reads this because you are about the only people on the planet who will even remotely appreciate this post.)

i'm done!

About 9 months ago, the week before school was supposed to start, I was so nervous and scared. I knew there was a long, HUGE mountain in front of me that I had no choice but to climb. Going to school with a baby. I remember talking to my sister in law, lindsay, who had gone through the same thing and saying "I can't believe you did that...and you are so lucky that it is already over." I just remember being so amazed that she had gone through 2 years of school with a baby and she was actually standing in front of me, alive and well, all limbs in tact. It seemed impossible to me.

But this scripture brought me a lot of comfort. "...the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them to accomplish the things which he commandeth them." (1 nephi 3:7) So, i was obeying a commandment of having children which meant that there actually was a way for me to accomplish this daunting task.

And look. I've done it. It has been a growing experience for Jeff and I. It has been rip-your-hair-out challenging. It has been i-seriously-hate-my-professor-so-much-for-having-an-attendance-policy frustrating. It has been if-i-have-to-leave-my-baby-again-i-might-explode heartbreaking. It has been the-dishes-can-sit-for-one-more-night exhausting. But it's funny because it only took one smile from my sweet baby to completely wipe away any overwhelming emotions. 

Somehow I was able to do well in my classes even when my only homework time was jane's nap time. Somehow, there were angels who were willing to watch and love my sweet baby when we needed. Somehow, jeff's job is incredibly flexible and he was able to pick his own hours. Somehow, the way was prepared. 

And now as I look back, I don't deny it was hard, but I am also so grateful for the experience. And it was wonderful. And even though everyone around me was saying "you are in school with a baby?! that SUCKS!", I actually felt a profound sense of gratitude.  I was able to be a mother to perfection personified, and I was simultaneously receiving an education at my absolute DREAM school. There weren't many days at BYU that I took for granted. It is like heaven on earth to me. After all, when I found out that I got into BYU, I wrote in my journal in big block letters: "I GOT INTO BYU. I WILL LITERALLY NEVER BE SAD AGAIN!!"

Getting into BYU was one of my biggest dreams in life. And it was while at BYU that all the rest of my dreams came true too. 

 made some lifelong friends

made a life-changing trip

made my dream guy fall in love with me ;)

then i made him marry me

then we made a baby (very shortly after...)

and that's by far the best thing i've ever made.

[insert picture of me in my byu graduation gown here. only i never ordered one so hopefully one of my friends will let me borrow theirs so i can take a picture that says "hey look at me! i fulfilled the byu stereotype by getting married AND having a baby before i graduated. HOORAY!" but really. i am 100% happy to be fulfilling that stereotype.]

LOSER

I was on a run yesterday and I was stopped at a stop light (UGH), and was waiting to cross. A car with a few teenage boys drove by and they looked over at me. Usually this means a catcall (one baby later and i've still got it. ) or some sort of weird, immature yelling. But instead, one of the boys raised his hand and formed a big fat "L" with his hand. L for Loser (in case you skipped elementary school), directed straight to me. If I was having one of those days, it could've been enough to make me cry. But thankfully, my hormones were in balance that day. I continued to run in a loser-like fashion, and was still a bit dumbfounded. Like, why would that guy actually put effort into something so deliberately mean? It didn't make sense to me.

But then a thought popped into my head and it said: this is what i get for throwing rocks at that car when i was 5 years old. My cousin Bailey and I were sitting outside of our great-grandpa's house, throwing little pebbles at every car that drove by. By about the 5th car, a perfectly stereotypical grumpy old man rolled his window down and yelled in  his gruff old voice: "hey you kids! stop throwing rocks at my car!". We ran inside and cried, because apparently we expected everyone to be perfectly fine with having rocks thrown at their car.

so yeah, karma.

(I thought i'd give you a little snippet of what went through my mind at mile 3 of 5 today. you are welcome.)

And in case you were wondering, the moral of the story is: don't throw rocks and expect people to still love you, and be nice to your fellow pedestrians. and if you can't be nice, then at least don't be mean.

look how little...

look how little she was...just a little less than three months ago.
sigh
that was the best day of my life.

and this is what cloud nine looks like.
everyday with her is wonderful...
and I'm going to get weird looks through the computer screen,
but I'm already so excited to do it all over again and again and again.
and to bring more special spirits into this world.
there is just nothing like it.
nothing more fulfilling.
nothing more hard
nothing more happy
nothing more rewarding.



(ok besides marriage, but i only plan on doing that once)

:)

MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING and stuff.

4 years ago i went to visit my grandparents in wyoming.

i ended up being invited to a sleepover with a bunch of girls.
 some of them i knew, but some of them i didn't.

one of them that i didn't know was becca, she had an infectious laugh and smile and was just the kind of person everyone wanted to be around. she was cooler than me. (still is)

we all sat in a circle and talked and giggled about college. 

although i didn't know her well, we decided it would be pretty cool to be roommates one day.

i kinda forgot about it after that.

but somehow, even though we had only really hung out randomly that one time,

a year later we were moving our stuff into our first dorm room at byu together.

the rest is history. 

we were insta- best friends and did SO MANY CRAZY things together.

in our minds, we were basically famous and really awesome.

we did whatever the heck we wanted to. 

we liked the same boy more than once. (they usually chose her. i don't blame them)

we stayed up talking til the wee hours of the morning countless times.

we laughed til we cried. everyday.

we made cookies every sunday.

and ate cheese and crackers every night at midnight. 

thus, we both successfully gained the freshman 15. 

we walked around byu like we owned the freaking place.

sometimes we sat in our room bitter and whiny about the fact that no boys had asked us out that weekend. 

we made way too many embarrassingly hilarious videos

we went to africa together. NBD.

i converted her to girly sing-songy music. and she converted me to spanish music.

(despite MUCH resistance on both ends.)

and we sang songs loudly for the whole campus to hear every night as we walked home from the library.

we shared our closets. i still miss that.

she taught me how to chill out and i taught her how to stress out. HA

we went on road trips and got lost each and every time. (also we are both terrifying drivers)

we got annoyed with each other sometimes, but in the end formed a friendship that i know will last a life time.

the first time i ever met BEN (her now husband) 2 years ago...i was so excited for her to get home.

why? because i HAD to tell her that i knew she would marry that boy one day.

i was right.

*patting myself on the back.*

also i freaking love ben. just saying.

WELL THIS WEEKEND THIS GIRL GOT MARRIED.

I'm just going to throw in a little fun fact: becca and ben started dating before my husband and i started dating...and i had a 2 month old baby at their wedding...

I'm sure I'm just ASKING for everyone and their dog to judge me, but who cares? 

i think its pretty funny. and we are all happy so it's all good.

her wedding/my wedding :)

so now.... I'm going to award myself with a reward. "WORST PLACE" in the friend department.

that's the opposite of first place in case you were wondering.

i couldn't go to her wedding.

it might have something to do with being in colorado with a new baby and no husband.

...but i don't really want to talk about it.

i was able to pull my crap together enough to show up to her wyoming reception

(remember, this is where it all began for those of you with short term memory loss)

it was wonderful!

oh hi mariachi band.

i don't know if it is just me, but whenever i go to a wedding and am talking to the bride, i feel like i am talking to a celebrity. even after being her roommate for 2 years and talking to her more than i've talked to just about anyone else in the past 3 years- i still felt a bit star struck talking to her.

it might also have something to do with the fact that she also looked like a movie star.

anyways, i was lucky enough to be able to snag a picture with the hot couple.

i tried to look kind of bad at her reception.

i mean, its the right thing to do. you want the bride to look much better than you.

as you can see, it was a success.

and from the picture above, you can easily observe the fact that i also deserve WORST PLACE in the motherhood department.

seeing as it looks like i am basically abusing my baby.

i considered not putting this picture up because it really mocks my mothering skills.

but you know what? I'm not a perfect mother OR a perfect friend.

and this blog is about REAL life. 

it doesn't get more real (or embarrassing) than this.

but hey, at least jane and i are matching. that's worth something right??

moral of the story:

i love my best friend

and her husband.

everytime i think of them being married

i get a warm fuzzy feeling, because i know they are meant for each other

and i know they will have a happy life together. 

like, i really know it.

and even though i didn't prove to be a very good friend this past week,

im glad i have a lifetime to redeem myself.

life would suck if she wasn't my friend so I'm going to make sure she always is.

some things never change

i came out of the womb sentimental.

the reason i was crying when i came out is probably because i was thinking...

oh, that was just such a beautiful experience and my mother was amazing for birthing me!

I'm just an emotional person.

pretty much everything matters to me

even dumb things.

but mostly people, getting to know them.

really know them.

im not a huge fan of fake relationships or small talk.

like, at all.

there is no point to it at all.

and if there is one, let me know I'm curious to know what you've come up with.

honestly. meaningless conversation is...meaningless.

i like real relationships, and real conversations.

and i always have.

don't believe me?

I'm going to share a little story with you about me.

when i was 9.

so there was this boy named brock.

he was the cool guy, the cute guy, the guy every girl had a "crush" on.

well, you know what. i wanted to get to know him.

so, i sent him a note.

no it didn't involve the phrase "will you go out with me?"

or "check yes or no"

you know how elementary kids go out with each other.

it basically is writing notes to each other, giggling to your friends whenever you walk by them

and the occasional standing awkwardly in the middle of the playground holding hands.

saying nothing to each other.

well, in my note i asked him if he'd like to "go on a walk with me."

yes. a walk.

i figured it was a great way to get to know each other better.

{hahaha}

well, he wrote me back and said 

"dear kerri, i will walk with you"

i was excited for our little walk, until the whole class found out about our note passing.

everyone instantly thought we were "going out"

AND had crushes on each other.

oh no. i was NOT that kind of girl!

well, i remember a recess filled with people coming up and laughing at me

and informing me of who i was apparently going out with.

i was not a fan.

i distinctly remember 

walking in to the classroom after recess, mostly everyone was sitting in their desks

and quieting down and settling into their seats.

i yelled with all the drama i could muster

 as i threw my arms back and strained my neck

"guys! i JUST wanted to get to know him better!"

i then told brock i didn't think a walk was the best idea.

he nodded his head in what i assumed was utter despair

because he obviously was looking forward to showing each other our souls.

{I'm sure he is still heartbroken}

i told this story for 2 reasons

1. to illustrate my eternal sentimental ways

2. because its funny. well....to me at least. 

have a nice day full of feelings and meaningful conversations! :)

africa in ten glorious minutes

the moment you have all been waiting for.....

TIA

{This is Africa}

:)

valuable

nostalgia is a weird thing

we find ourselves looking back

at moments, events, relationships

and missing them, yearning for them

wishing for them back

to relive over and over

yet when we were in that situation

we didn't even realize how many fond

emotions it would evoke later on

the way the memory would make us feel.

a beautiful special feeling

a cup running over

why is it so easy to not recognize the value of a moment

until it becomes a memory?

i bet some of those moments

that we will look back on with

 emotions that are indescribable

even though they don't need to be described

because we all know them.

yeah, those moments. i bet they

are happening to me, to you, right now.

one you can count on

some people aren't lucky enough

to find someone who they can confide in at all times

who they can count on for anything

who makes them laugh until they pee their pants

who will be their best friend through it all

some people are NOT that lucky.

but i am! :)

not only do i have her as a best friend

but as a cousin.

bailey is one of the best people i know.

fiercely loyal, she would do anything for anyone

but especially for me- i could count on her for anything

she tells me i am cool and helps me feel good about myself.

she is so strong- and a great example

she wouldn't hurt a fly..

{unless it was like a killer fly or one of those flies that transforms into a scorpion or

 some other type of harmful creature.}

she never takes offense and always assumes the best in others.

sometimes you find yourself in a rut
feeling sad and alone.
you may wish to yourself: i wish there was someone who cares...
well, bailey has been one of the few people
who i always knew cared.

sure we fought like cats and dogs when we were younger
we crushed on the same guy multiple times
and those guys always liked her over me.
but guess what?
i don't blame those boys one little bit.
the man who marries her will be one lucky guy
and he knows it.
she is faithfully waiting for her boyfriend daniel on his mission.
chuckle if you like...
but this is one couple who will undoubtedly avoid the destruction
that two years apart almost inevitably creates
their relationship is so beautiful and so right.
im so excited for him to come home and ask my awesome cousin to marry him.
it will just make me so happy!
anyways, i hope you get the idea.
bailey rocks.
and i am SO HAPPY and grateful to have her in my life
as my best friend and cousin.
i can't wait for the day when our kids can play together
BLISS, i tell you! :)

as you can tell, daniel and i also have a beautiful relationship

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAY, LOVE YOU!
{k so yeah her birthday was yesterday but lets just pretend i don't suck for 3 seconds}

flashback friday

i love memories

especially good ones

today is one of my best friends' birthday

so, naturally- i started to think of some good memories i've had with her 

i've had lots

we met when we were leaders together for a stake girls camp- daughters of promise

{i miss this week a ton. so much happiness}

ever since then we've been great pals

she taught me how to pluck my eyebrows

and paint my nails

and do my hair pretty

and my make up...

yeah i was pitiful.

we have had

lots of laughs, lots of talk (marriage has always been a hot topic)

ice cream runs, failed pranks, poor choices

 lots of cuddle time :)

the week at daughters of promise was one of the best weeks of my life

and I'm so grateful we met and have stayed such good friends for so long

now we are both grown up and getting married

both planning our wedding at the same time :) :)

which we have had plenty of lengthy discussions about in the past

so ideal.

such a happy and exciting time for both of us!

i am so happy she found a guy who appreciates the things about her

that i've appreciated for the past 3 years of knowing her

and i hope that he knows how big he scored

I'm way happy that she is getting married a month before me

so she can be at my wedding!

anyways, there is my flashback for this lovely little friday

love you lauren :)

oh and happy 20th birthday!