Farewell to Utah

I cannot believe how a few small areas of utah hold nearly all of my memories from the past 5 years. I still remember driving into Provo for the first time as a fresh out of high-schooler, ready to embark on this thing called college. Wow, everything was big and new and scary. Now, that very place which was previously so foreign is etched fondly into my heart forever.

Moving on before this Provo love letter becomes far too sappy. This weekend, being Memorial Day Weekend, was the first time Jeff had a day off since he left for officer training school in january. He called me on friday morning and told me how he had a 3 day weekend. My response? "Get your little bum on a plane and come be with us!" Well, long story short, I was picking him up at the airport about 10 hours later. Lots of happy faces ensued.

The next day was also his birthday! We were able to pack that day full of little moments that are priceless. We got to meet up with Laura & Tom and Tim & Lauren (Yeah, its becoming a tongue twister to say those couples' names in the same sentence) in Salt Lake City. You know the joyous energy that just floats around when siblings are reunited? It's tangible. We all just got to ruminate in that for about 4 blissful hours. We went to Chipolte (OUR FAVORITE. SOMEONE PLEASE COME OPEN ONE UP IN GERMANY!!) and stuffed our faces, and then went to an awesome park for a couple hours; playing frisbee, talking, and laughing- more than I probably should being 32 weeks pregnant and lacking in the bladder control department. (whoops)

Let's stop this nonsense taking pictures and get to what is really important: sniffing dandelions!

(I'm nothing but a bean bag)

Ian and Jane were ADORABLE together. Little boy is a multi-tasker; going in for the kill WHILE sticking his tongue out. His tongue just feels a lot more comfortable outside of his mouth than it does inside. Cute little nugget. Jane kept trying to feed him apples and goldfish and I kept explaining how babies only drink milk! Good luck to me in life when I have a newborn around....

It was a great day, and Jeff and I were exhausted by the time we finally got Jane to bed. It was the really great day kind of exhaustion though. We even were too tired to go to a movie, which I am kind of regretting now. That was probably my last chance to go to a movie for....a LONG time. On sunday, we had a nice relaxing day with my aunt and uncle & cousins which ended in steaks fresh off the grill. Yeah, so no complaints here. Jeff and I went on a walk together, just the two of us. We love walking around neighborhoods, pointing out different things we like for our future house. Which flowers we like, which paint color we like, and which kind of fake rock we will NEVER adorn our house with. :)

On Monday we only had about 5 hours, but we made the best of those hours by going down to Provo for one last time. (Ok I'm being a bit melodramatic; I'm sure we will be back one day, but not for a long time.) We went and worked out in our beloved and nostalgic BYU gym and then went out to eat at kneaders. Wow that french toast. It is OUT of this world.

Like father, like daughter :)

 Here are the two silly brothers having a calf contest. And their respective significant others, checking out their guy. :) And yes, I realize I need to start wearing bigger t-shirts, this one Im wearing here is cutting it a little too close for comfort. I'm just waiting to live with my husband again so I can steal ALL of his and then wear them every day for the next 8 weeks. Can't wait.

After that, I dropped him off at the airport and held back tears the rest of the way home. I went to smiths and bought a bag of ripe and delicious nectarines in a measly attempt to fix the little pit in my stomach. I know I get to see Jeff in a week, and then we get to go on a pretty epic adventure TOGETHER. But it was still hard to say goodbye. I just like that guy. He is my best friend, and I sometimes forget how lovely it is to just be in his presence. He makes me feel like the luckiest lady in the world. Truly.

BYU

OH BYU. Last week was Byu graduation. Of course, not for me. Been there, done that. However when I was graduating I was in the middle of moving and running a half marathon and being a big old ball of stress. So I never got to stop and reflect, or even put a gown on! Yeah, I'm one of those lame people who didn't order a gown and who didn't even go to graduation. Packing my apartment took precedence at the time. But let me just shout from the rooftops (blogosphere): that decision does NOT reflect how I feel about that amazing school.

I remember the day I learned I was accepted into byu. No, I was not one of those people with a perfect resume. I was lucky to get in. That night I wrote in my journal: " IM GOING TO BYU. I will NEVER BE SAD AGAIN!!"

I was sad again, sorry to report. But....barely! That place was so good to me. I mean how can you not fall in love with a place where you get to learn and stretch yourself, make some life long best friends, meet the love of your life, marry the love of your life, AND have your first child?! It's almost too many good memories for one square mile to hold.

I went back to visit yesterday and it was a day of happy nostalgia. I walked around campus, saw so many dear friends, and soaked up the sun with my girl. By the end of the day, our noses and cheeks were sunkissed, jane's hair was like a hurricane, and her whole body needed a good scrubbing from all the time spent in the sand and the dirt. Three signs of a truly good day.

 {playing at the park is some serious business}

Oh and jane had a BYU mint brownie, so that definitely didn't stop the streak of goodness. I wanted her to associate BYU with wonderful things like brownies in hopes of planting a strong desire in her to return there one day, when she is 18 ;) I kinda think it worked. She has been talking about brownies and BYU ever since...

Oh and Hi there, Becca! My roommate for two years who is pregnant with a baby girl, just like me :)

I also have to add another highlight- she saw her uncle Tim without bursting into tears. Their first ever encounter did not bring such fortune... Progress!

At the end of the day, she was plum tuckered out and managed to find a perfect slab of shaded concrete to lay down on, after stripping off her overalls and refusing to wear her shoes. A free spirit :)

i'm done!

About 9 months ago, the week before school was supposed to start, I was so nervous and scared. I knew there was a long, HUGE mountain in front of me that I had no choice but to climb. Going to school with a baby. I remember talking to my sister in law, lindsay, who had gone through the same thing and saying "I can't believe you did that...and you are so lucky that it is already over." I just remember being so amazed that she had gone through 2 years of school with a baby and she was actually standing in front of me, alive and well, all limbs in tact. It seemed impossible to me.

But this scripture brought me a lot of comfort. "...the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them to accomplish the things which he commandeth them." (1 nephi 3:7) So, i was obeying a commandment of having children which meant that there actually was a way for me to accomplish this daunting task.

And look. I've done it. It has been a growing experience for Jeff and I. It has been rip-your-hair-out challenging. It has been i-seriously-hate-my-professor-so-much-for-having-an-attendance-policy frustrating. It has been if-i-have-to-leave-my-baby-again-i-might-explode heartbreaking. It has been the-dishes-can-sit-for-one-more-night exhausting. But it's funny because it only took one smile from my sweet baby to completely wipe away any overwhelming emotions. 

Somehow I was able to do well in my classes even when my only homework time was jane's nap time. Somehow, there were angels who were willing to watch and love my sweet baby when we needed. Somehow, jeff's job is incredibly flexible and he was able to pick his own hours. Somehow, the way was prepared. 

And now as I look back, I don't deny it was hard, but I am also so grateful for the experience. And it was wonderful. And even though everyone around me was saying "you are in school with a baby?! that SUCKS!", I actually felt a profound sense of gratitude.  I was able to be a mother to perfection personified, and I was simultaneously receiving an education at my absolute DREAM school. There weren't many days at BYU that I took for granted. It is like heaven on earth to me. After all, when I found out that I got into BYU, I wrote in my journal in big block letters: "I GOT INTO BYU. I WILL LITERALLY NEVER BE SAD AGAIN!!"

Getting into BYU was one of my biggest dreams in life. And it was while at BYU that all the rest of my dreams came true too. 

 made some lifelong friends

made a life-changing trip

made my dream guy fall in love with me ;)

then i made him marry me

then we made a baby (very shortly after...)

and that's by far the best thing i've ever made.

[insert picture of me in my byu graduation gown here. only i never ordered one so hopefully one of my friends will let me borrow theirs so i can take a picture that says "hey look at me! i fulfilled the byu stereotype by getting married AND having a baby before i graduated. HOORAY!" but really. i am 100% happy to be fulfilling that stereotype.]

20 years

20 years...

of living.

of loving.
of being loved.

of laughing.

of crying.

of learning.

of growing.

of singing.

of smiling.

of praying.

I'm finally 20....

i've learned to walk, talk, read, and sing.

i've gone through the dreaded awkward stage.

i've had crushes, i've had my first kiss.

i've had my heart broken.

i've gained a firm testimony of Christ and His gospel.

i've played with kids and took care of them for thousands of hours and loved {almost} every second of it.

i've achieved goals

i've been to cool places.

i've learned how to face adversity.

i got accepted into byu, my dream school.

i've come to realize that family is THE most important thing on earth.

i've learned that serving others makes me happier than anything.

and I've learned...that i've got A LOT more to learn.

im excited to see what happens in the next 20 years :)

also, i really really wish i could be with my family today, my immediate and extended.

missing them pretty good right now.
but my roommates/friends made this day awesome! :)

love you all.

 

 

birthday eve dinner with best friends :)

keep an eye out for these criminals.

im so scared right now.
there are so many criminals running lose.
here on this very campus.
yes, you heard me right. don't believe me?
please observe the byu police beat.

+"there was a call made about some loud voices out by wyview park. when the police got  there they realized that there was a group of students playing a game where you act out  adverbs. the adverb they were acting out was 'angrily'. no harm was made." +"a man was reported walking into the Wilkinson center with a rifle case. when officers arrived, they discovered the 'rifle case' was actually a walking stick. this is not the first  time officers have responded to this man." +"two people were reported looking at bikes in heritage halls. when officers arrived,  they discovered they were parents of a student who lives there and they were waiting  for him to get out of church." my commentary: oh my heck...i feel uncomfortable sharing a campus with people who participate in such scandalous and deplorable behavior despicable.

anyways time for a little personal update.
 exciting things are happening to me.

my love life is blossoming!

...into an awkward, droopy little flower. 

and it is totally ok.

you guys don't believe me, probably.

so i found an illustration that is very fitting.

here i am.

in all of my unrefined, blundering glory.

 sad, yes. but it makes life funny.

it makes me laugh.

like LSHMSFOAIDMT

what is that jumble of letters?

it represents me

laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and i drop my taco.

happens alllll the time. 

jealous of my life much?

finals week.

starts off a little bit like this:

 then all the sudden it turns into this:

and...

 then....

then i go into the dreaded testing center. 

{sure to be torn down and built into a temple one day because of how many prayers have been said in there}

im all like...

 

then i look at my score and im like:

jaw. drop. --and NOT in a good way....unfortunately.

then my computer breaks. right before im about to start on my final paper for a class.

so convenient. 

then i look like a homeless person.

{my appearance moves to the back burner during finals week. its fine}

and i end up running into people who i actually would prefer to not look homeless in front of.

its just that t-shirts, slippers, ponytails, and oversized hoodies are just too enticing during a week like this.

i repeat this process a couple times. and then...

i finish. and feel like doing this

{despite the mostly mediocre grades achieved. but we wont go into that}

jumping for joy is good exercise :) 

try it sometime.

but try to do it without having to go through a week from hades first.

so. i could jump on the bandwagon like {it seems} everyone else and say

'yeah i got straight A's- and A's on all my finals.'

well guess what. i didn't.

but i tried my best. i learned a lot.

i have amazing roommates, a loving family to go home to, the gospel to ground me,

and a bright future anyways. 

so there.

anyways...to answer an inanimate object's question:

no... multiple choice tests, in case you were still wondering-

you do not have permission to dictate my future. thank you very much.

 ps. on my LISTENING TO tab, i update it weekly- so click here for my music of the week.

born of boredom

what happens when me, nina, and claire get bored on a saturday night?

we sit down. get a piece of paper. write down weird/awkward questions...

(with the help of my cousin kara)

and then go knock on random apartments and ask them these ridiculous questions.

with completely straight faces. 

we told them we were doing it for a project that we cannot reveal at the time.

we made people feel awkward as all get out.

this is hilarious. seriously. watch it.

LOL. right?
what was the funniest part to you? :)

circle of life.

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found... 

today was the first time i realized how cool the lyrics are to this song. 
im usually  too busy just belting it as loud as humanly possible without
 thinking about the  meaning. it is so applicable. there are so
many times when i feel like there really  is way too much to take in. 
too much feeling and emotion for one body to handle.  too many things to learn.
 too many things to do. we often feel overwhelmed. like we are trying 
to, with our small pitchers, water a field instead of a garden. i know i do.
we need to realize: 

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love

Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle

that all these things we feel. all the overwhelming thoughts- they help

 us find our place on the path  unwinding. our paths are unwinding 

with every new experience, with every heartache, with  every joyous

 moment, with every new place we go, and with every new thing we learn. 

the lion king is one of my all time favorite movies (I've watched it three times

in the last 2 months)it is one of President Monson's favorite too. he quoted it 

in his talk at BYU a couple weeks ago.   anyways....

 goodbye byu. for a short three days i bid you ado.

turkey, homemade rolls, family, and a 10k are calling my name. {hallelujah}

im off like a dirty shirt. 

what are you doing for thanksgiving?? 

frogs.

this past week has been ridiculous. to say the least.

i have been deliriously happy, completely distraught, content, stressed out of my mind, spiritually uplifted, and frog-bellied...

wait. pause. i know what you are thinking.

frog-bellied is an abnormal slash non existent term.

well im telling you it exists right now.

it is when you see someone and all of the sudden there are frogs having a hopscotch party.

in your stomach.

without your permission.

sometimes people get butterflies.

do i get butterflies? no. i get freaking frogs.

it's fine.

but really. it is crazy. you have got to experience this odd frog sensation. 

but i fear this may be one of those freak things that only happens to me.

but this is actually the first time this has ever happened to me.

when my little frogs pay me a visit, they are usually accompanied with a percussion band.

who then proceed drum my heart out of my chest.

it is not normal.

boy. 

stop making me feel absolutely pathetic.

and making slimy reptiles hop around in me.
i feel like a fool.

so just stop it.

thanks.

so you were just the recipient of a frog bellied explanation. 

whether you wanted to be or not. 

moral of the story: you never know what life will throw at you.

after that rant i feel weird bring up anything spiritual.

but id just like to mention that without the Savior, i would not have been able to function this week.

i know He loves me. and listens to me. and answers my prayers.
and cares about even the little things in my life.
if you don't already know. He loves you just as much. promise.

in conclusion. listen to this great song

All About the Heart by Mindy Gledhill

happy happenings.

ok so this was an eventful week. many exciting things happened.
the first thing happened to my roommate audrey.
she got her mission call! what a stud.

it was so hard for her (and me) to wait like 6 hours to open it.
torture. if it was mine, i could not have done that.
anyways, it finally happened. and she is going to pocatello, idaho!
her reaction was priceless. hahaha
it also made me want to go on a mission even more!

ok. exciting thing number 2. i checked a huge thing off my bucket list yesterday.
i ran a half marathon.
it was the best feeling ever crossing that finish line. like seriously.
i felt cool, in my head. like this girl,

but to everyone else, i probably looked like this.

it's fine.

my roommates were at the finish line cheering me on.
something i did that made it easier for me was that for every mile i ran,
 i ran it for someone i love. i call it "miles for love." haha...
also today i feel like i got hit by a truck. definitely feeling it.
oh, and ps- 3 of my great friends from last year ran it with me.
they are all beasts. 

right after i crossed the finish line. so flattering. oh man.

i devoured like 20 of those oranges. best prize ever!

so buff {brianne, amy, kylie, me}

didn't get the bended leg memo

it hurt so bad to lift my leg like that. freak.

anyways, that was a good day. 

i crossed a huge thing off my bucket list. great feeling.

also i have the best roommates in the world.

see for yourself. 

we took roomie pictures today :) 

here is a sneak peek. we took A LOT more than that.

nina is short

so us

there were some serious ones but i like the silly ones the best

they make me laugh a lot

yeah. 

if you just looked at all those, you should comment and tell your fave.

we are gonna put a big fat one of these in our living room.

and one of them we are gonna send out as christmas cards :)

merry early christmas!