10 things that are better than constant heartburn

heartburn. it is no joy. i realize worse things could happen to me. (also, that better things could happen)
here are a few things that, in my mind, are better than experiencing this fire breathing sensation.

1. using that really cheap toilet paper that literally feels like sand paper. the kind that i unfortunately just purchased. its gonna be a long 12 rolls.....

2. trying a new recipe and completely failing.

3.  making eye contact with someone who you didn't want to make eye contact with and then pretending like it never happened. then they say hi to you and you act surprised when you both know you already made eye contact.

4. changing poopy diapers

5. giving talks in church

6. snow storms in may. yeah, it happens.

7.  carrying my 50 pound bag of laundry that has been accumulating for weeks all the way to the laundromat in said snow storm. while pregnant.

8. having a 4 week period with nothing to do besides clean, feed husband, and daydream about possible labor scenarios and seeing your baby for the first time. do you realize how many scenarios there really are? a lot....

9. when you come home after a long day and are welcomed with a stench that promptly reminds you that you put something in the garbage can that had no business being there.

10. becoming a mother for the first time. yes this is better than having constant heartburn, obviously. so much so, that i am willing to deal with this for another 2 weeks. it's actually worth constant heart burn believe it or not.

anyways, heartburn and i are close friends nowadays.
but its one of those friendships where the other person is weird and so you are nice to them when nobody else is and then they assume you are best friends forever and won't leave you alone. not for one second.