Thursday, July 5, 2012

one fine dtr

this is a story from my point of view
with a few interjections by my one and only :)

i remember one night when jeff and I were first dating
we went to dinner at café rio
 (I love that place... its a perfect place for a dinner-date because you get to know a lot about their preferences in food... On this date I quickly found out some things that Kerri does not like! Tomatoes, guacamole, lettuce, black beans, limes in a salad, pretty much anything that comes on a Cafe Rio salad :) I think she got a burrito :) ) 
ok so what if i am the pickiest person known to man...judge me.
and then to his childhood park.  
This was also a test to see if she could recognize the importance of that park to me. Good job babe :) You passed that one.
we listened to the song ‘Amazed’  by lonestar in the car
(never heard of that song before... I must not have been paying too much attention to the radio.)

it was that weird stage
where there is an almost tangible feeling of
curiosity and mystery
not knowing what the other one is thinking.
anxiety would sneak up on my heart frequently,
feeding me with worrisome thoughts like:
"oh no, he just broke up with a girl.
this can only mean one thing
im totally the rebound."
oh, that was so not ok. 
(I felt pretty sure that she was having those doubts. Kerri isn't one to hide her emotions too well, and so I could almost see it on her face.) 
he tells me he thinks im a really cool girl but all I hear is
‘whats goin on rebound girl?’
 I couldn't just flat out tell her I was crushing on her way fast, cuz that would have totally freaked her out and scared her away!
and im thinking…oh nothing, just being your rebound.
so then I asked.
{after maybe 3 dates, mind you.}
“am I just a rebound girl? Cuz im not really cool with that”
he was caught off guard, I do believe.
 (Yes, definitely caught of guard.) 

partially because of my sudden boldness
and partially because of my awkwardness.
bold awkwardness. It’s a real thing.

of course he said I was not a rebound girl.
what kind of guy would say
“why, yes. You are my rebound girl. Glad you figured that out so quick.”  
(Yeah! No guy would say that, whether it was true or not!)
still, at this point I wasn’t sure if I believed him
but then, he told me he liked me. 
i reciprocated.
and i told him to
not kiss me.
for a long time. 
(this also caught me off guard. But I liked it.)
if he was just looking for a rebound, he would not be a fan of this idea.
the whole no kissing thing.
but he agreed with the sentiment.
and we decided if we were to date- it would, and I quote,
“not be for just kicks and giggles.”
(I knew she might have thought that she was a 'rebound', and I had planned on telling her that night that I was not going to kiss her until we were very seriously dating. So I was THRILLED when she suggested it to me. I knew that if there was a way to prove I really did like her, that was it. )
so we were just sitting in the well warmed car
in the parking lot of my apartment
having our first DTR
in an abnormal way
he was wearing a flat rimmed hat
the way he always does
slanted up and just a little bit crooked, touching one ear. :)
and I was wearing….
well, I don’t remember. But he might remember.
Jeff? ;) 
No clue. Thankfully I know Kerri really doesn't care about me knowing what she wore on that day. If she was the type of girl that did care about me knowing and remembering those types of things I wouldn't be marrying her.  
{^smooth save jeffrey}
he was late for work, but he talked to me instead.  
sacrifice- its essential sometimes, Guys.
he was saying things like
“IF we were to start dating…”
i didn’t like the word IF.
not one bit.
 I knew she didn't like that word, and that it exactly why I said it. I didn't want to leave that "DTR" being her boyfriend, I just wanted it to be clear that I was interested in getting to know her better and that if things continued to go well then I'd be happy to make things a little more official. 

i hated the thought of not being in his future.
that thought just didn’t seem right.
but I was also a paranoid crazy head.
my emotions were just being thrashed around
in all sorts of directions.
in case you haven’t gathered that so far.

after concluding that we both liked each other,
that Im paranoid,
and that he may or may not be a player,
he drove off into the sunset.
or…into the stop light.
i sighed as he drove away and ran in
to tell my roommates about our conversation
 i was hoping that would happen. I hoped that she'd tell them that I told her I, too, didn't want our relationship to get super physical and hoped that they would be able to remind her that she WAS NOT a rebound girl.
i didn’t know how it would end up then.

but I do NOW :)
and boy oh boy am I satisfied.
 As am I :)
moral of the story?
you’ll never know if he can catch you
unless you jump.
i jumped, thank goodness!
and to make sure to not end this story with a cliffhanger.
NO- I was NOT the rebound girl

and…we still both like each other :) 
Correction, we love each other. More than anything in the whole world. I am so grateful that Kerri had the guts to trust me and stick her feelings out on the line, knowing fully that they might be hurt if I secretly was a dirt bag. There is no way we'd be where we are without her courage. Thanks, Sweetheart :)

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