brother

my brother is leaving in two weeks to go on a mission to new york. ok yea this may sound so cliche and normal for a mormon, but this is a big stinking deal to me. he is my little brother. i will miss him so much. but at the same time i am so proud of him i feel like my heart might burst out of my chest and break out into a hallelujah chorus. he is my best friend and I'm not just saying that because he is my brother and your brothers are supposed to be your best friends. people say our faces are the same, little do they know that our insides are even more the same. our souls are made of the same stuff, our brains think the same thoughts and when we are together wordless conversations come with ease. i remember when i first started dating jeff and i was trying to figure out if i loved him or not. i would always say to myself "do i care about him as much as brendon?" "does my heart ache for his well being?" for awhile it was a no, but it was when i could finally answer those questions affirmatively that i knew i loved jeff. obviously the love i have for my brother and for my husband are drastically different, but the base of it is the same. those are two people i truly love more than myself.
my brother is leaving to new york for 2 years, and he is taking a part of my soul with him. this will not be an easy thing for me, because who likes living without the part of them that validates every aspect of who they are?