back on the radar

ok so I've been MIA in blog land lately.

i've been busy, and stressed, and busy, and stressed.

and sick.

with finals, packing up my apartment, {I'm moving people!},

christmas shopping, to-do list checking, working, and morning sickness + a cold on top.

{not a cherry}

woohoo.

i think the fact that i am camera-less really started to wear on me.

and i just didn't want to blog without pictures, or with gross ones, 

because that. is. lame.

but i am happy to announce i now have a camera!

and its a pretty nice one!

thanks to my awesome sister in law, laura. 

so, i have a few things to document

***

temple lights with my lovely husband

I LOVED that i actually felt good, and we could spend time together-

holding hands, and just talking and walking.

***

i've made 3 of these in the past 2 days. don't judge.

{one of them jeff helped me eat...}

in my defense, we have no more food, and most of our kitchen is packed up.

***

today i was walking back from the laudromat

with my clean bag of laundry.

kind of in la-la land, staring at my feet, thinking about all the other things i had to get done today.

i was in a hurry to get back to my apartment.

so i swung open my door, quite violently.

and then i froze. 

and proclaimed "OH MY GOSH"

in a horrified, oh-my-heck-what-did-i-just-do kind of voice.

why?

oh, i just barged into an apartment.

an apartment that was NOT mine.

and of course there was a middle aged man sitting right there.

staring at me, half frightened, half amused. 

so i mumbled "sorry wrong apartment!" and ran away.

seriously? how many people in this world have had the unfortunate privilege 

of saying those three words?

it was definitely one of my shining moments.

***

"finals finale"- not pictured {you are welcome}

this is referring to the mental breakdown i had towards the end of finals week.

one of those moments.

when everything hard in your life is building up

and then all at once it becomes too much to handle.

you feel that pathetic little feeling well up inside of you

and as you begin to cry, its not enough.

exhaustive, emotional release, at its finest.

inconsolable, probably unreasonable, but necessary.

no, nothing horribly tragic happened to me.

no, my mom was not just diagnosed with cancer.

no, my first grader didn't just get brutally murdered. ;(

yes, i have a healthy baby growing inside and a loving husband.

and a million reasons to be joyously happy.

but sometimes you just have to cry,

even if it is just to be reminded that you have the most awesome husband

in the world, and with him you can be brave, and invincible.

your out of control emotions seem to settle and resolve themselves 

just from one long, sincere, hug from him.

just in case you were wondering, my finals still destroyed me.

***

the sandy hook devastation for me sure put me in my place

and snapped me right out of "poor me" mode.

it breaks my heart.

makes me a little scared to let my child live in this world.

but at least i know those sweet children are still in good hands.

***

i am almost 16 weeks pregnant, 

and i leave for TEXAS tomorrow.

 { 22 hours with jeff all to myself, baby! :) }

so excited to spend some quality time with ALL my in-laws!

coming to you soon...a pregnancy update.

my belly has protruded quite a lot the past couple weeks.

you will be proud.