on mothering

"Some women give birth and raise children, but never “mother” them. Others, whom I love with all my heart, “mother” all their lives but have never given birth. Therefore, we must understand that however we accomplish it, parenthood is the highest of callings, the holiest of assignments." – Patricia Holland, A Quiet Heart eartH

oh how i love that quote. and i think it is quite perfect. motherhood is amazing, and i truly feel there is no greater calling, and that it is better than anything else i could ever hope to accomplish. i've been dreaming of being a mother since i can remember- it has always been my greatest anticipation, my biggest goal and motivating factor in everything i've done. and let me tell you, it has lived up to every expectation, and far surpassed it.  i kind of want to shout it from the roof tops to all the women of the world "become a mother! you will be happier than you knew possible!" (keep in mind the quote above that defines what being a mother is- because i realize getting pregnant and giving birth is very difficult for some. my heart breaks for them, truly. but i also know that giving birth is not the only way you can become a noble mother). i've had a book since i was 15 where i have written ideas for my future children- fun things to do with them, and different ideas on how to raise them in a loving, happy, and Christ-centered home. that task seems daunting, but i am excited to take it on- especially to do it with the love of my life by my side. i love being Jane's mother. I can do things for her that nobody else can and there is truly no greater feeling. it is empowering. it gives my life so much more meaning and purpose and makes my heart just feel like it might explode with love at any given moment.

        i feel like i am more blessed than i can ever even comprehend and i do not ever want to take this incredible blessing for granted. i want to soak up every minute. i already get emotional thinking of her growing up. on one hand, I'm so excited to see her grow, watch her personality develop, and watch her discover this world. on the other hand, i want to cry when i think of her no longer being a newborn. 

she is so perfect. words do not suffice as i try to describe my love for her. so i guess i will just have to show her in everything i do, everyday, for the rest of my life. that is what mothering is, and...

 i can't wait.