Her first day came and went. I teared up a bit and felt super uneasy and nervous. I couldn't sleep the night before. Similar anxiety and worry that I had as a child before embarking on something new and scary. Part of me wanted to just wake up that morning and say "jane, nevermind about this school thing. Don't you just want to stay home with mommy?" I truly did, but I also don't want to hold her back the way I sometimes let fear hold me back when I was younger. I think it will be great for her to learn how to thrive in a new, completely unfamiliar environment. And although she will likely forget german after we move, I think learning a language early on does something special to a person's brain that will help them throughout their education.
Dropping her off and driving away, I had the same feeling I get right after I have a baby and the nurses take my baby away to give them shots, bath, etc. It's like a limb is missing, and it feels completely unnatural and wrong and sad. But this is part of motherhood, letting them go to spread their wings. She was beaming when I picked her up and talked a million miles a minute on the way home, and it's been like that everyday since :) Her first words to me the first day were "Mom! I ACTUALLY didn't learn ANY German!" Haha, I think she was expecting to become fluent in a day. It will also be a good lesson in patience ;)
^^ Can't leave out these pictures because they are her go-to camera faces. maybe one day she will learn....haha
I've been so proud of her bravery and resilience. For her, these types of things aren't easy. She isn't naturally outgoing, but she pushes herself. She would come home and tell me the ways she figured out to be kind and friendly to her classmates, even though she can't talk to them. Talking to them, sharing her snacks, and giving the sad boy "the good scissors" because he had "the bad scissors". Haha! I really am proud of my girl, and also soooo glad that she will still let me cuddle her like a baby.
^^ And she lets my mom too ;)