Monday, April 7, 2014

can't stop won't stop? actually, i can.

Okay, so this week I am not eating any sugar. One of my goals for this year was to go for one week a month without sugar. Mostly to prove to myself that I do indeed have an ounce of self control. And also  because I feel like my body needs a detox like that every now and then. I sometimes feel like I am addicted to sugar, so I like to show my body whatsup by not eating any and proving that I'm capable of refraining. Like, this morning, I turned down homemade cinnamon rolls and last night I declined my favorite sour gummy candy...so basically I rock. But I like the feeling of being in control.

While I've been eating healthy and doing things like this all in the name of "self control", i also realized there were some other areas of my life that needed similar attention. Especially today as I listened to General Conference. but anyways. SOCIAL MEDIA. I swear I check Facebook way too much. It's my first instinct every time I open up the internet browser on my computer. I check it more than I should, almost mindlessly, without even realizing it. I've wasted a lot of time on it. And you know what? I want to have control over myself NOW, in this area. I keep telling myself I need Facebook so that I can link my blog and all my friends can read it. But it isn't worth it to me anymore. My blog will probably always be just that, a blog. And those people who actually want to read it, will still read it whether or not I post it to Facebook.

I once had dreams of becoming a famous blogger and earning money from it. But not if it means I have to be a social media junkie. That's not what I want to be. I want my daughter to think of me as an interactive, intelligent, and attentive mother who makes good use of her time. I actually have made a goal this year to be on the computer/phone only while she is sleeping and I have been good at that, but not perfect. It just bugs me when I get on the computer to do homework and 20 minutes later I realize I am on Facebook and I'm like how did i even get here? It's like my agency was temporarily blurred or forfeited. And that's not ok. I've realized that i just need to DELETE IT. #endofstory

As mormons, we are encouraged to not drink, smoke, or do drugs. A big reason for this is because we know that these things alter our minds and often times take away our agency to some degree. Well, I want to feel like I have my full agency in this matter, as well. Because every virtue can become a vice. And in the end, restricting myself from things like this is more liberating than it is restricting.

Now, I know a lot of people who have a Facebook and use it wisely, and in moderation. I WISH I was like that. But I just check  it more than I should, and it's such a habit. and more than a habit, maybe...ok i hate the word addiction but I may as well admit it; addiction.

Anyways, that's my decision. I'm not saying it has to be yours too, but that is what's happening. It probably seems dramatic or silly or lame to many of you, but it's just what I feel like I want/need to do. This is not easy for me. I'll miss seeing pictures and updates from people I know; but it's just not as important to me as the bad things that come from having a Facebook. (but brendon, william, and rachel; just know that whenever any of you start liking/dating someone, i will certainly sneak onto jeff's Facebook to check them out. ha)

So, see ya later (actually, never) Facebook. I'll be busy loving on this little sweetie.

8 comments:

  1. I made that same decision with my Instagram a few months ago and it has been so great! You can do it :)

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    1. Yeah thats awesome! Ha thanks for the support :)

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  2. I'm one of those bloggers without needing Facebook to take me here. Do you mean NeVeR? as in you plan to never have fbook again! Judas! Do what you gotta do!

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    1. probably forever. but idk, if i feel like i can get it without getting on every 5 minutes then maybe ill give it a trial run in the future. but something tells me i'm gonna like being facebook-less.

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  3. I'm so proud. I thought I was addicted, but I just find I have waaaaay more time in my day to do things like read scriptures and clean and whatnot. I will still read your blog. And I hope you become a famous, super-rich blogger.

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    1. i know! so much more time! (i've been sober for only 2 days, but still!)

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  4. I will still read your blog!! Always a faithful follower I think. I like the idea of keeping up your blog because it turns into a journal. Plus I feel like you can share a lot more than through Facebook. I hate facebook. The only reason I have it is to stay connected because I live in the other side of the world... Is that a lame excuse though?? I have my blog too I guess... Hmm.
    I also like the idea of only being on your phone while the little one is asleep. Like, a lot. I might copy you with that idea... :)

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    1. Yay! thanks! haha. Yeah, there are always some useful things and reasons why to have Facebook! Yeah the whole no social media while baby is awake is good. (i type on my computer as my child crawls across the floor...oops! But for the most part, i'm good at it :)

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